The Age Of Aquarius

You know how people are always talking about the “Age Of Aquarius”? Or some people. Or me. It feels like it’s always supposed to be “that age” when I read some astrology reports. But guess what? Neptune has entered Pisces and that really is supposed to be the Age Of Aquarius. Or something. The Mayans knew things. So does RAQUEL! And to honor this cosmic shift of humanity, what better way than to have RAQUEL! herself usher in this holy era with a Vegas style revue on the side of an ancient Mexican temple from her legendary 1970 TV special, which I honored here:

The literal peak of the special must be Raquel! as a sacrificial Goddess leading a troupe of costumed Zodiac figures in an epic rendition of “Aquarius” set on the steps of an actual Aztec pyramid in Teotihuacan. You’ll wonder who or what was sacrificed to produce this spectacular pop desecration. I can almost see the virgin blood spilling down the stone ruins as Raquel! guides us through the astrological spirit world as only someone of her mystic power could. The Aztec dance number threatens to achieve almost 30 seconds of artful subtly as the camera pulls back from the pyramid lined with colorful zodiac characters, flying away from Raquel!’s distant Goddess frame overlooking the sacred temple until the entire ancient landscape spreads out in windy silence. Aquarius.

Dance, RAQUEL!, dance us into the brave new sunshine.

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13 Responses to “The Age Of Aquarius”

  1. Charley Brady Says:

    Calm down, Christian, calm down for the Sun God’s sake! It’s only Raquel! dancing around like a mad thing. Yes, only Raquel! ONLY RAQUEL!

    In the name of all that is Mayan, she was in the first film I ever saw, when my dad took me to see One Million Years BC in The Orient, Ayr, Scotland.

    He told my mum that it would be educational for me but even in those more innocent times she wasn’t buying that one. She knew that my old fella just wanted to see Raquel! in a furry bikini.

    By the hockeys I wish he was alive to see this clip. Raquel! in a corny hippy headband looks sexier than ever. Come to think of it, it might have finished him off even earlier.

    By the way, to all freaks out there: am I the ony one that remembers the divine Raquel! throwing her bra into the bloodstream in “Fantastic Voyage”? I’ve seen it since and that scene isn’t in it! Was it cut or even worse…was my slightly fevered ten year old mind including a scene that never existed in the first place?

    I have to know!

    The next film that my old man took me to was “Custer of the West” and I spent the whole damned film wondering when Raquel! was going to turn up.

    Ah, parents, you never knew the lasting damage you did to your Raquel!-fevered offspring!

    Excuse me, I have to go and lie down now.

  2. christian Says:

    “He told my mum that it would be educational for me but even in those more innocent times she wasn’t buying that one. ”

    Bikinis and dinosaurs aren’t educational?

    I watched FANTASTIC VOYAGE recently and don’t recall said scene – however, RAQUEL! was attacked by plastic amoeba.

    Check out 100 RIFLES, BANDOLERO! and especially HANNIE CALDER for the ultimate RAQUEL! western trilogy.

  3. Charley Brady Says:

    Jeez, Hannie Calder…another blast from the past. I seem to remember a particularly sleezy Strother Martin and Ernest Borgnine. Can’t recall who the third Stooge was but didn’t Christopher Lee teach Raquel! to shoot in that one?

    Ah, a mis-spent youth…

    If we’re not careful, Christian, we’re going to end up in the same ward together.

  4. Charley Brady Says:

    Now I’m absolutely mortified. It’s just been pointed out to me that the third member of that Hannie Calder Terrible Threesome was Jack Elam. How could any brain– even one as beer-sozzled as mine– have forgotten that?!

    • Martin, Borgnine and Elam might be the sleaziest trio in film history. HANNIE CAULDER was recently released on DVD. And any western with Sir Chris Lee as a benevolent armorer is something to behold. All that AND Robert Culp…

  5. don’t worry, i’ll bust you guys out.

    (of the ward, i mean)

  6. ha if you and charley can stay frosty and hang in there with the crazies for a few months…

    i’ve seen ‘the ward’, but to be honest i can’t remember it terribly well — it was ok, not bad, quite small scale and clearly carpenter attempting something outside his typical carpenter genre bag of tricks – trying his hand at ‘spooky loony-bin mystery’ – but a little flat and lacking in flair if memory serves…i wouldn’t mind seeing it again actually to form a more robust opinion, get a bit more conviction going one way or another. my take here is kinda how i remember the movie: lacking in pizazz.

  7. Wow. Just wow. Thanks Christian! Well done.

  8. Charley Brady Says:

    Before I finish with all things prehistoric, this walk down Memory Lane has reminded me that my first glimpse of the female bosom was in 1970s’ “When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth.” Now THAT was an educational film: dinosuars and humans happily co-existing in a world with the lucious Victoria Vetri in it. Happy days!

    I can see the nurse coming. Its time for my medication.

    • Those images of Vetri in my monster mags of yore were always exotic and inviting. I never even saw WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH until a few years ago — strangely, it was NEVER a staple of late night creature features and I never once encountered it in the day. Of course I wanted to because of said Vetri and moe important, Jim Danforth’s stunning animation, some of the most refined in film history. Great poster too.

  9. Charley Brady Says:

    The only reason I saw it in 1970 was because we were taken to see it as part of a school outing. I think that the teachers were a bit put out afterwards. Well, maybe.

    A few years later they took us to see Roman Polanski’s version of “Macbeth””. Now that really was educational. It gave me a life long appreciation of all things Shakespearian (Thanks Mr. Church)

    Unfortunatley Victoria Vetri wasn’t in it but it was so twisted and fascinating that I don’t think I cared at that point.

    Did I hear somewhere that Vetri got nine years for stabbing her husband or something?

    One of the reasons that I love your site so much, Christian, is that it dregs up memories that should have remained buried.

    Christ, a psychiatrist would have a field day with anyone that writes into this site.

    Nurse! My medication!

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